by David Goshorn
It’s been all over the headlines for years now: “Our economy is in crisis.” Everywhere you look people are talking about it—on your HD radio, your LCD TV, it’s on all the blogs you read, your iPhone, and even on your Nintendo Wii. Then you see ads from the very banks and brokers the media blame for the downturn saying, “Trust us…we’ll help you.”
As we enter this year’s holiday season, people are wondering, “How are we going to pay for Christmas this year?” There’s no doubt that folks everywhere are highly stressed. So where do you find hope?
One goal of coaching is to help individuals return to their core values. Concentrating on your core values forces you to see through the fog of worries in your mind. Re-establishing your core values provides clarity of vision, which allows you to better envision the direction your life is going. And so it goes with coaching—a method for establishing solid action steps grounded in your values that will help you attain your goals. The following seven encouragements are designed to help you stay on track.
1. Remember that you are the expert in your own life. Likewise, the members of your family are your family’s experts. Only you know how well you are doing financially, emotionally, interpersonally, etc… Are you going to believe what the media tells you, or are you going to believe what you know to be true for you and your family?
What is your real situation? Write it down and talk to each other about it.
2. Remember past difficulties. How did you get through them? Consider the three most recent economic downturns. At the beginning of this century, the bubble burst on the stock market as dot coms went under. I was personally affected when I was laid off from one of them. Before that there was Black Monday: On October 19, 1987, the DOW dropped 22.6% in a single day. I barely remember the one before that, in the 1970s, when Carter was president. But I do remember my family being very worried and waiting in long lines for gasoline.
What other difficulties have you made it through? What did you learn from them?
3. Cling to your beliefs and watch your attitude. This is a big one, because your beliefs and attitude are wrapped around your core values. Start by having an absolute trust and belief that you will get through difficult times. Yes, it is challenging, but you’ve proved before that you can do it.
4. Mourn your losses. If, during this challenging time, you and your family have suffered a loss, take time to recognize and embrace what that loss means to you. Many times, we don’t fully acknowledge a loss to protect ourselves from suffering. Maybe the way you deal with pain is to complain, “This isn’t fair! I don’t deserve this!” Some lean more toward anger, while others might just give up. But how many of us respond rationally by just pausing to weep?
When we acquiesce and seek that place of brokenness and deep sorrow, we can finally rest long enough to find the comfort that offers us the first glimmer of healing and hope. That hope may only be the size of a small seed, but it is the first sign of better things to come.
Are there losses that still haunt you? Take some time to reflect on them, mourn them.
5. Create your new vision. Rather than concentrating on what everyone else is saying, focus your energy on your own vision, the direction for your life and your family’s life together. Imagine this: At the end of a long day, you stop by to get a take ‘n bake pizza. At home, you finish up some work and have to get on the kids about their chores. Before you know it, the pizza is burning! You have two choices: focus on the problem of the ruined meal and how everyone is hungry, or focus on a solution, “Well, the fire is out, dinner is ruined…the windows are open, the smoke is dissipating. Who wants peanut butter and jelly?”
New vision is about changing focus.
What will you look at differently?
6. Inspire others. When you know where you are going and your life is thriving in the midst of difficult times, you will automatically inspire others. Share your story. Don’t be ashamed to share why you are so grounded.
Who will you tell your story to?
7. Celebrate. You will hear me talk a lot about celebrating. I really believe in celebration because it is there that we get to the very essence of what life is about. It is in celebration that we express our deepest gratitude to God and each other. By celebrating you create a milestone, a way to memorialize, “Hey, we made it through this trying time, so let’s plant a tree to celebrate it!” Find a way to lock every achievement into your memory. Plan your celebration ahead of time.
What will you do to celebrate your success in perseverance?
David Goshorn is a Certified Professional Coach and the 2011 President of the ICF Northwest Coaches Association. His life purpose is to “help others find success and fulfillment as they pursue the passion they were created for.” You can contact David at 503.347.0213 or send him a note at David@VectorChange.com.
